Is it?

I was lying on a bed, staring at the cracks of the ceiling and thinking probably the most common questions that everyone has gone through once. What is life? And why are we here for? Why do we have to suffer? What is Happiness? Those questions which were not answered by great philosophers and poets were eating my brains.

Today I met an eight year old boy with acute Leukemia. When I talked with him his happy face were ignoring the fact that how important all those laughs and talks he made were. I saw kids on the streets sniffing glue. Their faces were full of charm laughing at each others. They were unknown about the anguishes that they have to face. I met Nephews n Nieces at home they were no difference than any of those kids I saw and met. They were all happy. I was wondering how much sufferings these innocence faces has to go through. Is happiness all about being ignorant or innocent about future?

There are people who are starving to death. There are people who are counting days to die. There are people who lost their loved ones. I’m not among them. I have a place to live, Food to eat and friends and family to share. But still why is this thing called happiness hard to find?

There used to be a day when I crave to be busy, when I crave for work. All the leisure times were nothing but a torture. Little bit of work made me happy. Now here is a day when I crave for this little bit of time. Just a small fragment of free time will make me happy. Is happiness just a little break from sorrows? Some one said that there is no Happiness in heaven because there is no sorrow to compare with. He might be right. I’m learning to appreciate all the sufferings that I have been through because of which I know what happiness is. I’m learning to be grateful for every starvation that taught me the value of food. Every disease that I have suffered or seen is teaching me to appreciate the comfort of being healthy. Every busy schedule is letting me happy with every small fragment of leisure time. I think it’s all about finding balance, without one another doesn’t exist.

I want to achieve greatness in life as everybody else. Even though I’m well aware of the fact that people who already achieved what I called greatness are not happy, but still I’m willing to suffer to get it. Why am I ready to suffer? Is it a human nature that we always want those things that are almost impossible or hard to get? Or are we all trying to find the meaning of existence. Does achieving success means finding the meaning of life? Is Success or achievement all about having a good family, house or a fancy car? I don’t think so. When you have all those things, none of them make sense. Now comes again the meaning of life. Why are we here? What have we done for this world? I think it’s all about our contribution and the legacy that we leave behind.

Words of Wisdom

"The person who has most to do with what happened to u is U. It's u and the choices u made." - Dr. Ben Carson

‘The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence’

20^th May 2010, It was my third day in a hostel at Melbourne. I was sharing a dorm with three Irish Fellas. All of them were gone for work that day. I was lying on a bed, reading a guide book of Australia and planning for next destination. There was a knock on the door followed by its opening sound.

“Hello, my name is Jane, I am Canadian, I just arrived from Perth,” A Lady around 17-19 years of age standing by the door with her backpack said. She had a small funny looking musical instrument at the side of her huge bag that made me think that she was backpacking for quite long.

 “Hello, my name is ….… Kancha, I’m from Nepal,” I said.

“Nepal!!!” she was surprised to hear that.

“Yes, from Nepal.”

 “Wow beautiful country! One of my friends was there, she said that Nepal is truly amazing country and has lots of adventure. People who wear Metal band’s t-shirt really listen metal music, is that true?”

“Yes,” I replied.

She dropped her backpack and started searching for something in the bag. She took out a t-shirt with a Namaste sign on it and said “my friend brought this for me from Nepal.”

 “Wow that’s really cool,” I replied.

 “She said that this is the sign for greeting people, is that right?”

 “Yes”

 “I like it’s meaning the most that says I salute the God in you.”

I paused for a while, smile and shook my head back and forth. I realized how I just took things as they were; I never tried to find meaning on them. Today I knew meaning of  Namaste from a stranger who hardly knew where Nepal is. ‘I salute the God in you’ that really sounded nice.

“Is that a guitar?” I asked pointing to that funny looking Instrument.

 “Yes, I have a special name for it, it’s a backpacker’s guitar because it’s easy to carry and fit in my backpack.”

  “Which bunk is vacant?”

  “This one” I said showing the bunk bellow my bed.

She throws her stuffs on the floor and jumped on the bed.

 “Hey what are you doing?” she asked waking from the bed.

 “I’m reading a book”.

 “Well, I can see that, I mean what topic are you reading?”

 I smiled and said “about Tasmania.”

 “Cool!”

  “What are you doing tonight?” she asked.

 “Nothing”

 “That’s cool, I don’t have any plans either may be we should hangout together.”

 'Ok' was my reflex.

 “I’m going for a quick shower by that time you get ready”.

 “Ok,” I said.

She was gone for shower. I started getting strange feeling. We had just talked for few minutes but still I felt like we were friends since long. I got down to the floor from my bed. The floor was full of mesh, bags, clothes, shoes, shocks everywhere. I took out my pair of shoe from underneath the bed and tried hard to find my socks on the floor but just got one. I had to took my new socks out of the backpack.

“Hey are you ready?”                                                                                     

I turned my head to the voice that was her.

“That was quick, and you look beautiful,” I didn’t hesitate for the compliment. 

“Thank you and are you ready?” She asked me again.

 “Yes, almost”

 After wearing my shoes, I asked “Where to?”

“I don’t know I’m new here.”

 “I’m hungry, let’s get into some restaurants,” I said.

“Restaurants are boring and expensive, let’s buy something to eat at convenient store and we’ll sit and eat in the waterfront.”

 “Brilliant.”

 I noticed she was of my kind. We bought some sandwiches, fries and soda and walked to the waterfront.

The waterfront was beautiful and quiet. There was not much flow of people. We chose a nice and quiet place from where beautiful view of water and the Melbourne could be seen. 

“What were you doing in Perth?” I asked while trying to open the lid of the soda.

 “I was there for apple picking, as the season was over, I came Melbourne to find some job.”

'Wow, she was traveling and working together. I wished I could do that too.'

“Where are you planning to go after Australia?” I asked her before taking the bite of a sandwich.

“First I need to find a job here, make some money and then I’ll travel Asia, I’ll start from Laos.”

I paused and thought, ‘This is Life; I want to live this life. We Nepalese are missing this beauty of life, work for a while, save some money and explore the world. We cannot travel like them even if we have money because we have responsibilities toward our family and we need to save for the future.’ I was Jealous of her freedom. That was how I wanted to live my life.

As I was thinking on my own, “What do you do?” she asked.

 “I’m a student, I finished my Bachelor’s degree, worked for few years and as I was preparing for my Master, I thought of a taking a vacation and explore round the world, so I’m here.”

“Are you working here?” she asked.

“No I’m not; I’m in tourist visa without work permission.”

 “So who will pay for your traveling?”

 “My parents”

“What?” She was surprised to hear that. “You are lucky to have such blessing Parents.”

She was more surprised when she heard that my parents were paying my tuition fee for college and I was living with them.

“You are studying, you are traveling and your parents are paying for your study and your travel and in the mean time you don’t have to worry about living while you are back in your country. I am so Jealous of your life, I wish I could do that too,” She said.

So that was win-win situation. I remembered the popular saying ‘The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.’

“Do all the parents pay tuitions fee for college and university in Nepal?” she asked.

“So far I’ve seen in the capital city and in my hometown, it’s true for all average Nepalese citizens if they want to study.”

“Wow, that’s really nice.”

 “Where are your Parents?” I asked.

“When I left them they were in Vancouver, since then I’m not in contact with them.”

Now I realized the fact that we average Nepalese might be among few blissful families in the world where single person’s earning can hold the expense of whole family and still keep them happy. I also realized the fact that why our responsibilities toward parents had increased.

It was getting dark; the sun was rushing to say goodnight and dipping down the horizon. The wind was whistling in the shore, I looked at her; her hairs were floating with the zephyr. Her elegant smell was making the environment fresh.  I could see the innocence on her face and could realize that she was naïve to this strange world and not sure whether she was well prepared to face it or not but she was already onto it. She might be almost ten years younger than me but still smart enough to earn, plan and live on her own.

  “May be we should return back to hostel, it’s getting cold and dark,” She said.

“Ok.” 

Is it me or System that is wrong???

“Why do you have to go against everything?” My mom yelled at me today. Everything means a lot for me. It’s not everything that I am against; it’s everything that I think is wrong. I can understand that everyone has their own way of perceiving, thinking and approaching things. And most of them believe that their way is right. And I am no difference than any of them, one among millions in a country and among billions in the world. But I am flexible; if somebody convinces me with reasons then I will agree with them. You can’t prove you are right and you don’t want to concur with others. That’s not fair.

           

Today my Nephew (Bhanja) who is just few years younger than me came home with sister. He wants to do Master in Business. All of my family members were discussing about his further study. I listened to them for a while and told them he doesn’t need to study. Everyone was surprised to hear that.

 “Do you want to spoil his career?” My sister said.

“No, I want him to be successful in his career that’s why I don’t want him to study. Many people in the country with good education and higher degree are unemployed. The train of studying and getting higher degrees has become the culture in average Nepalese family despite the fact that the chances of getting jobs are feeble. All the burdens that parents faced to educate their child is not being rewarded. In this situation you want to follow the same train that others are following. Even if he finish his master degree than the best thing that could happen to him is a job.”

“What’s so wrong with getting a job?”  My Sister asked.

“I’m not saying that is wrong. I am just trying to say that it’s better to think about being among few job creator than be among thousands of job seekers. If he is interested in Business than the degree that he has obtained is enough to start a business. Why doesn’t he start looking for ideal business and a place of opportunity to start a business?”

 As I just said the place of opportunity, Bhanja immediately said, “Do you want me to go America to start a business?”

“Who told you that there is opportunity in foreign lands? Yes, there used to be so that they called it land of opportunity but that was about hundreds of years ago when that place was developing and new for so many things. If you go there now then you have to work hard to survive, pay tuitions fee and finish your degree. And still the best thing that could happen to you is an average job. Very rare Nepalese citizens are living so called American dreams. This country is developing and this is a land of opportunity today. This place is Naïve to so many things. Bring a new idea it will flourish.”

“What can I do here, there are a lot of people like me?” bhanja asked.

“Why don’t you try to be innovative or at least try to do something extra than others or do the same things in different way? We are depending on our Neighboring country for most of those things which we can produce in our country. This ensures that there is no deficiency of market in our country. Among which agricultural products are one. It’s not that we don’t have source, we just need young educated people like you to show interest and do it in modern way. There are repeated broadcast of successful stories in television and newspapers about Entrepreneur in Nepal. One of my friends who was born and raised in Kathmandu was frustrated about unemployment. He purchased lands somewhere in Nuwakot with the help of bank and started raising cows and goats. Now he conducts his own dairy firm, has added poultry products and vegetables in his business. He is not only employed but also providing job to many and he is helping nearby farmers by purchasing their milk and other products. This is just an example; there are hundreds of other opportunities waiting to be explored.”

“Don’t you think more educated citizens are required to develop a Nation?” my sister interrupted.

“Yes we required educated citizen but that doesn’t mean that we have to pile up highly educated unemployed citizen in urban areas. We need to educate the people in rural part of the country. See the difference in education in our country. One part of the country has plenty of higher degree holders whereas other part of the country is hardly literate. We just can analyze the result of SLC where almost half of the students were unable to pass the exam; On the other hand about 30,000 students scored distinctions. We need to find a balance on education in the country. Skewing the curve will not help.”

“I agree with you Mama (Uncle)  but where should I go to find the place of opportunity?” Bhanja got curious.

I was happy to hear that. “Kathmandu is suitable for large investment, competitive for middle and least opportunity for small investment. So it will be better if you go out of valley and start something new. This will not only benefit you but also benefit that place and people living there. And most important thing is you will be playing a major role in the development of a Nation.”

“No, he must finish his study first,” said my mom and sister.

“Give me some good reasons why he should not start a business when there are plenty of business opportunities awaiting and abundance of unemployed master degree holders in the country?” 

GOD Vs ME for good

"Terrorist attacks on twin towers, about 2700 people were killed and 6000 injured,” News of September 11 2001. “92 people were killed in Norway shooting, the suspect wrote manifesto before attack, in which he attacked multiculturalism and Muslims immigration,” Today’s headline. For how long are we going to tolerate this? Why do we have to suffer in name of God because of those extremists? Who are Gods? Who created them? It’s really hard to answer those questions with effortless perspective of vision.

Although there are many religions round the world; Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim and Christian are mostly encountered ones in our country. We were taught about life histories of Gods related with those religions in schools. Let me briefly introduce those Gods with my combined knowledge of Schooldays history and present day Science.

Let’s start with Jesus Christ, the son of Joseph and Virgin Mary. Although son of a Virgin itself is not logical, I can convince my self with my alternative theory. “I am son of God,” Jesus said to his disciples. This is a classical example of a person with delusion of grandiosity. He was crucified by Romans who couldn’t tolerate his popularity. Even after Crucifixion, most of his loved ones believed that they saw Jesus on fourth day. I don’t find any thing fascinating or weird about that. Seeing flashbacks of dead people by loved ones could either be normal grief or post traumatic disorder. That’s what science says.

Paigamber Muhammad, Prophet of Muslims, was married to forty years old rich widow woman when he was twenty-five. He started hearing voices of God, Those voices were written in a book. Hearing voices of God? Do I mean to say auditory hallucination? Yes, It is the most significant symptom of Schizophrenic people. Auditory hallucination of Muhammad wrote Kuran. I’m not scared to say that.

Gautam Buddha, Lord of peace. Yes, he loves peace no doubt about that. Once, he saw the dead, sufferings and poor people, his mental peace was disturbed and became restless. If he was present day prince than he might be diagnosed as a patient of acute stress disorder and end up in psych ward.

Even though those people so called God were once Psych patient, There is no doubt that they were all great philosophers. I respect them for that. I wonder why those great philosophers were once Psych patient. Even present day writer Paulo Coelho had spent most of his early days of life in psych ward.

Lastly, let’s talk about the religion Hindu, this is where my family belongs. I don’t know which God to talk. There are a lot. Are those God too were some how patient of psych? No, they were not. They are just the supernormal characters of poem and stories written by great philosophers and poet like Balmiki or Ved Vyas. Krishna is a hero of longest epic poem Mahabharata. Likewise Ram is a main character of poem Ramayana.  These people never existed. Just as Romeo and Juliet were fictional imagination of Shakespeare, Those Gods were fictional imagination of Maharishis.

Although they are just the logical hypothesis of my limited knowledge, I don’t think any scholar can disprove my ideas. Likewise I can’t disprove any believer too. You might say I’m an Atheist. I won’t hesitate to say, yes I am. But I like to call my self Agnostic more than an Atheist. It’s not because I hate God, it’s because they don’t fit in my logic and I don’t want to become the enemy of logic. Above all, I can see the sufferings in the name of God. I don’t believe in existence of God doesn’t mean that I lack ethics or culture. I have my culture and I respect it and also respect all the cultures round the world. And I know my morals.

It’s not God who created man, it’s us who created them so that they could be kept as Guardians. It works for certain extent. But the time is changing and this theory fails to update with time. Now there is a generation gap on beliefs. But those who stick with old theories became extremists and started offending the beliefs of other extremist and vise versa. This affects the general people who are living their lives with their own updated version of beliefs.

How does it feel when you hear the news about the most powerful leader like Bush call for launching Crusade on Iraq; Muslim extremists’ attacks in different part of the world; the seventeen years old French kid once chosen by Dalai lama as reincarnation of some great figure claim that he lived all his life on a lie or you have to witness the racial discrimination and several taboo in your own home in Hindu culture? This is terrifying.

I don’t follow any believer’s beliefs and I don’t ask them to follow my ideas too.

The only thing I want you (extremists) to follow is put your experience and logical Knowledge above everything while taking the major decision. Think how much your God worth in terms of taking lives and torturing people. Keep your wisdom over hypothetical faith. Stop killing and tormenting people in the name of God. Stop Holy Wars. If you do that than you will not only thwart most disasters on earth but also prevent the most probable cause of  third world war or the end of the world.

Professional Discrimination

“Everything is an art, the only thing different is the material used,” a famous Philosopher once wrote. Different occupations have the beauty and loveliness of its own. We work hard each day to make things better and improvise ourselves on what we do and who we are. How does it feel when somebody tries to make you feel inferior by comparing what you do to what others do or they do? This definitely is not good. It is offending, agonizing and annoying.

While the world is on a race for its triumph against racism, poverty or disease, No one seems to be concerned about the discrimination among professions and its affects on individual, society and a whole Nation.

One of my friends just passed cadet exam and became a Lieutenant in Nepal Army. The first thing I hear from him was, now I am superior to a police inspector. Who taught him that? For me both are good jobs of protecting the country and its citizen. How can anybody say that a lawyer is better than an engineer, or a doctor is better than a nurse, or a businessman is better than a housemaid? All of those professions have their individual way of dealing things and own elegance of work. Beside all, they are helping each other directly or indirectly. And forming a well balanced part of an ‘ecosystem’ where every profession is equally important.

Even though professional discrimination is a problem in every country round the world, it is severely affecting the developing country like Nepal. My cousin just returned from U.K. I was with him while meeting the relatives. One of the newly introduced relative asked him, “What is your profession?”  That question made him blush. He paused for a while and stammered business. Tell tale signs of a lie can be seen on his face. I’m sure he is not on business. This is not only his story but of many Nepalese citizen working in foreign land. Fear of discrimination has overwhelmed the truth.

“What do you do for living?” one of most frequently asked question has become one of the most uneasy questions to answer for many. If somebody is so ashamed of just saying what he does than how can anybody doing the same job in a society be happy. This might be the reason why people prefer to stay jobless than do certain types of job. Who will do that job in the country? How can a nation be developed if the entire citizen doesn’t want to do those types of job? Who is to blame, Society for creating different kind of ranking of different profession, or an individual, not being happy of what he or she  is doing, or a government, who is unable to set certain laws against the professional discrimination?

Although there are certain systems of ranking in same profession which might be necessary, that should be limited within that profession. Out in the public every person is same. They all are human beings with the tag of equality that is Nepalese Citizen. If somebody expects respect just because of his or her higher rank in their profession than that is wrong. If you have done something good to others regardless of rank or profession than you don’t need to ask, you will be cherished. Respect should be deserved not asked or fixed by profession or ranks.

Everything is an art, be a good artist on whatever you are doing. Respect all professions equally. A new constitution is being written in our country, let’s hope at least few of our leaders are concerned about professional discrimination and make some laws against it. So that all Nepalese citizens will start doing whatever job they get. And all the professionals are happy with what they are doing. Professional discrimination can be eliminated and the world can be a better place if we just try to see the world from others perspective.

Legalize Same Sex Marriage?????

Same sex marriage should be legalized. There are a lot of controversies regarding this statement all around the world. Recently an American lesbian couple got married in Hindu tradition in Nepal. This made big news in media particularly in the sense of getting feedback from the readers. Several questions were raised against the couple’s motive and Nepal’s law and order. For me the news was great.  In my opinion all the minorities including Gays and Lesbians should get equal rights on every aspects of life. Following paragraphs are my opinions and answers to commonly said statements and asked questions against the Gay rights.

Why do we need to support their choices? Once, I had read in a textbook of behavior science that sexual preference is not by anybody’s choice. It comes in one’s mind at the age of three. Once trapped in brain regardless of how hard family members or the specialist tries to change their mind they remain unsuccessful. So the only way of helping them is support their ways of living. They are equally competent as heterosexual people in every aspects of life so why deprive them from any rights just because of different sexual preference.

Most people believe that same sex marriage is aberrant and it will break the natural rules. What are the natural rules? Just as few people become left handed after they are born which is not by their choice, Very few people have the same sex preference which is not by their choice either.  What difference does that make in the nature? They are not asking any heterosexual to be homosexual. They are just seeking to live their choice of life. Every individual in this planet should have the right to live their life their way regardless of race, sex, origin or sexual preference unless they harm others.

Is it a threat to a culture? I have several questions before answering this. Should threat be determined by who is following it? Isn’t it being a racist?  I think, more the followers of cultures and traditions, the more the chances of it being preserved. Lesbian couples get married in Hindu tradition; does it decrease my respect to my culture? No, I am glad my Culture provides the freedom and opportunity to some minorities who were underprivileged from their rights and living their life in gloom. It raises my respect to my tradition.

“It is a disease of west that is spreading in east,” one of the influential political leaders of South Asia said. Is it? Awareness regarding woman’s right is spreading from west to east and still a lot of changes to be made. People are revealing themselves more about who they are and asking for their rights. Consciousness regarding children’s rights yet to spread from west to east and so is elderly rights. How can making people alert of what they deserve be synonymic as disease? It’s the liberation and awareness that is spreading from the West not disease.

However, there are certain cases of same sex preference even if they have other choice. Some people seem to have some kind of rage against the opposite sex so just to avoid them they choose it. Some people have a hobby of changing sexual preference. One renowned Hollywood celebrity states that she is tired of doing the same things in life so she wants something different. Now she prefers the same sex partner just to experience the change. Some experts say that these types of people can be changed regarding their choice of sexual partner by certain therapy while other argues there is no need because they are just temporary.

Once again, I would like to emphasize the point that no individual should be deprived of his or her rights including same sex marriage. If suitable environment is created and equal opportunities are provided by families, society and the lawmakers to Gays and Lesbians they can achieve greatness in their lives. They could not only be an asset to a family or country, they could be asset to the whole world. To preserve an individual’s right to remain physically, mentally and socially healthy for the rest of his or her life, the same sex marriage must be legalized.